As salam alay kum dear brothers and sisters.
In June last year I got myself involved in a relationship with a married man of 5 children. ?This man was someone I had known since a very tender age of 14 and at the time he was 17. ?I got to know him through family and we became good friends. ?He had always liked me however I was very young and naive and was completely oblivious to how he felt towards me. A year later he was flown over to Pakistan and was pressured into getting married. Despite it being against his wishes, due to extreme family pressure he consented to marriage. ?He arrived back to England a few years later. ?By this time I started college. ?As he discovered this he too registered into college and managed to enrol onto the same course as me. ?Our friendship continued for a few years before I left for university. ?During this period I started to grow a liking for him, however I controlled myself knowing he was married. ?When I left college to go to university, I moved away from home and left behind everything to enjoy university and to make new friends. ?I briefly kept in touch with this man and he made a few visits to see me just as a friend but not long after we lost touch.
There was a big gap of 13 years where we both carried on with our lives separately. ?I focused on my career and my life in general and ?remained single. ?He ?too carried on with his life, his marriage, well so I believed. ?As time went on, ?I ?often heard my parents speak about his family. ?Unfortunately both his parents passed away during these years and I had heard his life took a turning for the worst after their deaths. ?He suffered from severe depression for many years. ?He had never been happy in his marriage anyway but after his parents had died he became extremely bitter towards his wife however remained married to her. They had 5 children together.
Just last year our paths happened to cross again during a charity event that I was involved in. It brought back memories. ?We exchanged numbers and started meeting each other. ?He shared everything about his personal life, his marriage, his children with me. ?I found out how sad his life was... his marriage wasn't like a marriage - just two people sharing the same roof while living two separate lives, with little or no compassion, just constant bickering and arguing. ?He claimed that even though they had made 5 children together they had no feelings towards each other. She was soon to be separated from him as she was in the process of leaving the family home. ?We became very close and soon started a physical relationship. ?He claimed he had loved me since I was a little girl but couldn't pursue me because of what his parents forced him into and that now I had come back into his life he wasn't going to let me go. ?I fell for it..........
A few months went by into our relationship and his wife left the family home and took the children with her. ?I started visiting his family home and we pursued a very intimate relationship. ?During this time I fell pregnant. ?He promised he would get ?a divorce and speak to my parents for marriage before I started showing. ?I waited and waited but nothing happened. ?His lack of effort in sorting out this mess left me with no option but to have an abortion. ?I had such strong feelings for him that I couldn't let him go and just wanted to be married to him. At this point I should have seen the tell tale signs, but my heart controlled my mind and I carried on with this relationship. ?The whole marriage situation, his lazy attitude towards sorting out his divorce put a big strain on our relationship therefore we constantly argued. ?And as time went on he put his family home up for rent and started sleeping at a friends house until he got a smaller place of his own. ?He convinced me to move out with him. ?I fell for it and ended up renting a 1 bed apartment. ?The lease was taken out under my name. ?I continued to push him to sort the divorce so that we could make our relationship halal. ?He reassured me he would and that I just had to be patient. ?Unfortunately I fell pregnant again and this had a big impact on my mood. ?My hormones went everywhere. ?Often leading to more bickering and arguing again mainly about his lack of effort in sorting out his divorce.
Just two days ago he dropped a bombshell on me by saying he couldn't do this anymore and that as much as he loved me he couldn't carry on living with me. ?I was shocked by his decision. ?I trusted this man with my life. ?I left my family home to put a roof over his head, have the lease signed under my name which he has left for me to deal with, and on top of that he has walked out on me whilst I'm pregnant with his child. ?I am left anxious and extremely depressed. ?I have absolutely no one to turn to as I left my family home to live with him. ?I really don't want to abort this child but I'm totally confused as to what will happen if I kept it and had no support from the father. ?I seriously do think he has moved back with his wife to be with his children, but where does this leave me? ?Please can someone help me and recommend a solution to this problem which has potentially destroyed my life. I put my faith and trust into this man and gave my everything to help him only for him to do this to me. ?Please help me find a solution to this problem as this has left me to a breaking point.
Jazakallah
?SUhail2345
Source: http://www.zawaj.com/askbilqis/walked_out_on_me_whilst_pregnant/
No comments:
Post a Comment
Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.